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Married housewives looking casual sex black women wanting sex Sounds like your partner is a little freaked-out right now, but is taking steps. It's understandable that he's freaked-out and feeling insecure. Be compassionate with him. Reassure him. Release any pressure you're exerting towards him. Treat him like a. Help him to feel secure. My BF and I have had an open relationship for 4 years and we both still occasionally feel insecure (though it's become less frequent). It's helped a lot to take responsibility for my own insecurities.. "It's not him that's making me insecure. It's me making myself feel insecure." It's also helped a lot that I've become comfortable and safe sharing my insecurities honestly with him. It's also helped (in a strange way) that I've realized that the relationship could end at any time regardless of whether we're "open" or not. Monogamous relationships end all the time! One of us could get hit by lightning or a bus. Old age and death happens to everybody. KABLAMMO! It's over! Realizing all things inevitatably come to an end kind of releases the pressure on "trying to keep it permanent". You might want to consider whether "open relationship" is an equal trade-off for him. You get something you desperately want, but does he get something he desperately wants? I think it's great that you've explored his secret sexuality with him (his porn collection) and talking about new things to do in the bedroom! It sounds like you have really good communication and that's key in any relationship. I've just purchased the book you referenced above; "Opening Up". I haven't read it yet, but I'm told that it's very good. I've read "The Ethical Slut", which is great. I not only applied of the concepts to my relationship with my, but I also applied some of them to my relationships with friends and coworkers.