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Married ladies wants sex Anchorage here. That opening you wrote in this response is dead on If I am unhappy after a divorce, it would be because of MY actions. I would only have ME to be mad at. I agree with you %. Its an empowering feeling to find happiness after divorce but its a bittersweet victory. You find that you 'found' happiness by MAKING it and that it took dedication and work. That once you got a grasp of it you ALWAYS had it. A person, an illness, job loss, rain there's always a reason to be UNhappy, always something we have the ability to point to, an external factor including partners. I've read some of your responses to others, I agree he needs to pull his head out of his ass. While time away might help..it is easier to focus on fixing our own broken shit without trying to repair a relationship..it isn't necessary. "I don't believe I should settle for something I am not comfortable living with." Again.. I am in your corner on that, but it begs the question..so what ARE you comfortable with? What does a good life look like? I am taking you to task I am taking you to task because of one thing one thing that I didn't fully grasp till much later in life than you. You still want to qualify any shit you pull with something that points the finger at him. It's the famous..ya but. I'd be happy BUT I'm mad at him whichever I am, he's the other Remove that from your vocabulary and your mind. Place responsibility for yourself with yourself and ONLY yourself. You aren't responsible for his crappy decisions but you ARE responsible for your's. Fully responsible. You are here by CHOICE. After divorce..like you said, you've got no other choice but to own it, so own it now. A key in this is to be honest with yourself. Do you want him to be a part of it? Or do you feel like what you wrote in your opening post? You don't owe me anything..but don't you think that he deserves to know what he's dealing with? You are right there just apply that 'post divorce' power you say you have..and apply it NOW.